The Salt in the Wound

I have been staring at this blank page for a while; I can't figure out how to put into words what I'm feeling. We all have a story to tell. Some stories are harder than others. How do you cope when you lose the very thing that was helping you deal with how damaged you are? How do you tell a story that not only left you with a jagged, gaping hole in your heart, but also hashed open an old, still-healing wound? You know the kind that I'm talking about; it's that wound that took forever just to scab over and has just barely reached that stage of the flat, shiny scar. It's the wound that is so fragile that it seems like just enough pressure will split it back open.

This is my wound.

Sadie was my dog. She was my rock, my solace. She was much more than "just a dog." Sadie was a special addition to our family. Many of you don't know the reason that I had her in an apartment that didn't allow pets. She was a certified, papered, companion animal. Being present at her euthanasia was the most difficult thing that I've ever done. I held her as her life literally slipped away. I pressed my face against hers and sobbed uncontrollably as I clung to the scruff of her neck. I made sounds that shouldn't even be humanly possible. I clutched her collar in my hand as I left without her, emptiness overwhelming. Losing her left me reminiscing. Losing her was the salt in the wound.

I went back to the beginning.

When I was 10-years-old, I was sexually abused by a man that my family and I considered family. From the moment that I told my dad what was happening, I was whisked into a frenzy of police interviews and court dates. I was branded. I was a victim, and some considered me an instigator and said that I was lying or that I had asked for what happened to me. That's a lot of emotional trauma for a 10-year-old to endure. I suffer(ed) from anxiety, night terrors, and bouts of depression.  I was placed in individual therapy, which I attended for an hour every Thursday. Eventually, I "graduated" to group therapy, which I attended every week. After a matter of a few months, the funding ran out. We were faced with several options: pay for therapy out-of-pocket, see a doctor so that I could be medicated, or look into a companion animal. The idea of a dog was joyous. What child doesn't want a puppy?!

One night, we stopped at Mark's Ark on a whim. We were just going in to look at the puppies. I remember walking over and seeing this tiny dog, about the size of a chihuahua, with ears the size of satellite dishes on her head. I fell in love at first sight. I asked to hold her, and the rest is history. Sadie Ann came home with us that night. You would be surprised at how therapeutic it is to train and care for a puppy. She was the distraction that I so desperately needed and the nonjudgmental, loving being that I could pour my heart out to without the slightest hesitation. She listened to me unceasingly and tilted her head intermittently at the sounds of certain words. I formed a special bond with her. Even though I still hold that she loved my mom the most, she was always right there next to me if I was hurt or upset. She could always tell, and she wouldn't leave my side. She was able to comfort me more in her silence than any person could with words.

I struggled with the fact that I would have to leave her at home while attending college. I knew that it was for the best. Home was home for her. Moving her would have put an unnecessary strain on both of us. That's the reason that I chose to leave her with my family when I married and moved out. It was just better to keep her home. She had cataracts in both of her eyes, and I knew that she couldn't hear as well as she used to, but she would still come greet me whenever I visited home. We had a special kind of bond. It was a love/hate relationship. She drove me crazy most of the time, but, my word, I loved that dog. When she left, she took a piece of me with her. My heart literally ached for well over a day. Just when I thought that I couldn't cry anymore, my eyes held a thousand tears. In time, the raw edges will be smoothed, but I will always have a hole that only she could fill. There will always be that empty feeling when I return home to visit and she's not there to greet me or lounging in her favorite chair. I will still struggle with the events that took place some 13 years ago, but I will do so now knowing that I was not alone during my darkest times. Sadie didn't just enrich my life as most dogs do. She saved it.

"My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet."

Piddle Puddles and No Solution...

No cleaning solution, that is!  In my last post, I told you all about the awesome $1 Handy Shammy from Dollar Tree as a reusable cleaning pad for the Swiffer WetJet. I, Cherish Anderson, am in love.  With the WetJet.  I use it ALL the time around the house!  This leads me to my current post.  There's only so much cleaning solution in those little bottles, and the refills are not cheap.  So, I set out on the internet in search of a way to open the bottle to put my own cleaning solution in.  Of course Swiffer doesn't want people refilling the bottles, because they'll lose money that way, but I knew there was a way to get it off.  I found an awesome tutorial on Youtube.  You can pretty much find anything on Youtube.  I must give credit where credit is due, so here's the video.



So, carefully stick the cap of the bottle into boiling water for ten seconds.  Use a dish towel to twist the cap off.  It worked like a charm!

I decided to fill mine with white vinegar diluted with a little bit of water.  It's known for its disinfecting and deodorizing qualities.  I twisted the cap back on and popped it right back into the Swiffer.  I cleaned up the floors.  They sparkle!  Once it dried, it didn't smell like vinegar anymore.  In fact, it didn't smell like anything, which is just the way I like it.  I'm also not afraid to use it on the floor and let Sprocket go in there after.  It's just vinegar, after all, so it won't hurt anything.  Awesome!  Way cheaper than going out and buying the refills.  I'm not sure how many times you can refill the bottle, but if it works a second time, I'll be sure to let you know!

Piddle Puddles and a Handy Shammy

Guess what!  We got a puppy!  He's a pug.  We (I) named him Sprocket.  He's adorable.  As you know, puppies are a lot of work.  Sometimes, they have accidents in the house.  We've been training Sprocket to go potty in the bathroom just in case he can't hold it and we're not home to take him outside.  He has piddle pads, but he misses more often than he makes it on the pad.

A few months ago, we decided to get a Swiffer WetJet.  It's pretty awesome!  It's way easier than mopping on hands and knees, and you don't have to move a mop and bucket of water to each place that needs to be mopped.  As you can imagine, with piddle puddles on the bathroom floor, I've been Swiffering a lot more often than I used to.  The refill packs are a little bit too expensive for my frugal tastes.  While perusing the Dollar Tree a few days ago, I stumbled upon perhaps one of the greatest finds ever: the Handy Shammy.

I though to myself, "Hmm.  I wonder if that would stick to the WetJet.  It's only $1, and if it doesn't, I can still use it around the house."  I decided not to pick it up at the moment.  After cleaning up several more puddles, I asked my husband if he would go back to Dollar Tree and pick one up.  I cut it to fit the Swiffer.  Guess what.  It stuck!  

The Shammy towels are big enough to cut two pads for the WetJet.  Bryce purchased two of them.  I LOVE them!  They absorb the cleaning solution really well, and they pick up more dirt than the original WetJet pads.  The best part about them is that you can throw them in the washer and reuse them!  Wash them in warm water with no fabric softener.  Lay them out to dry.  The directions are right on the packaging.  They're more durable than microfiber cloth, too.  So, there you have it, $2 for a total of four reusable WetJet pads.  Every thrifty bone in my body rejoices!

Spit Happens

Annabelle learned how to make spit bubbles.  As you may already know, this is a valuable skill for every 11-week-old.  This is what we do with our Friday nights, and we wouldn't change a thing.

Plights of a Stay-at-Home Mom

 I have been blessed.  I have a beautiful baby girl, and an amazing husband.  He works so hard to provide for our family.  Because of him, I've been able to stay at home with our baby to tend to her needs and watch her grow.  Even though I wouldn't change a thing, I do miss him terribly while he's away.  When I worked outside of my home, I still missed him, but there weren't constant reminders that he was away.  At home, it feels a little empty.  Anyway, enough of this.  I'll be a blubbering idiot if I keep going.  I'll just share a song.  I can't wait for the end of the day to come.

Sunday Stroll

Today was such a beautiful day!  We decided to take advantage of the lovely weather, so we packed up the diaper bag and went for a walk.  It's only 1.3 miles from our house to Grandma and Grandpa's house.  Baby Belle enjoyed the ride there so much that she took a snooze.  We didn't stop and smell any roses.  We just trekked over.

She spent some time with Grandpa Phil.  She also played with Aunt Meg and Grandma Terci, but we didn't get any pictures.  We will next time!

We had a lovely time on the walk home...

...and then a neighbor tried to start her car.  Yikes!

I can't think of a better way to spend a Sunday than with family.

Sock it to Me

Yesterday, I grew up just a little bit more.  Do you know what I did?

Guess!  Come on, just GUESS!

Alright.  I'll tell you.  I matched my socks.  Yes, every single sock is now with its "proper" mate.  Any sock without a match went where all single socks go: in a sack, in the trash can.

My mother would be proud.

In a Nutshell

Well, since I'm such a TERRIBLE blogger, I must update with my life in a nutshell.  Here we go!

February 14, 2011 - Bryce, my boyfriend, became my fiancé.  He proposed, and I said, "Yes!"

This was absolutely NOT posed. They pulled me out of bed. :)

June 29, 2011 - I married Bryce, the man of my dreams.  It's was the most beautiful, perfect day.  We even got a little bit of rain.

My family!
(Little Sis, Mom, Me, Bryce, Dad, Little Bro)

WE'RE PREGNANT!  I'll spare you all of the pregnancy details.  It had its ups and downs, but it was SO worth it!

Ready to pop! 40 weeks pregnant.

February 13, 2012 - Today was my sister's birthday.  I gave her the best present ever, a niece!  Our princess, Annabelle, was born at 7:58 P.M.  She weighed 8 lbs. 2.5 ounces, and she was 19.5 inches long.  We were so happy to finally meet her, and she was absolutely perfect.

Just a few minutes old

February 15, 2012 - We had our first family portrait taken.

February 16, 2012 - We got to go home!

March 4, 2012 - We got to give her her first real bath in Grandma's sink.  She loved it!

April 6, 2012 - We caught her first BIG smile.

April 18, 2012 - She fits into 3-6 month clothing. Oye!

And here's me!

I promise to do better at blogging!  Now that I have more to blog about than just boring, ol' me, I think it will be easier.  I would love to have you along for the ride!

Movin' On Up

I can't believe that it has already been almost a year since graduating from Snow.  The time just seems to go faster and faster.  I've kept in touch with my best friends at Snow, and I've done my best to visit at least once a month.  Work is great, but it definitely consumes most of my schedule.  It's about to get even better, though!  I have been a 2nd Assistant Manager for almost 7 months now, and I'm going to be promoted to a 1st Assistant in March.  I can't wait!  I've worked very hard for what is coming.  It just opens another door to even more possibilities.

I'm not only moving up in the career department.  June 29, 2010 marked the beginning of the rest of my life.  Well, my love-life anyway.  Bryce Cooper Anderson is the man of my dreams.  He really is everything I wanted and more.  Caring, strong, loving, humorous, brilliant, and a bit goofy, Bryce completes me.  We even do that disgusting, lovey thing where we complete each other's sentences.  It's great.  He makes me so happy, and he treats me like a queen.  That's all I ask for.  I know that he is the man that I'm going to marry.  That thought is bliss.  Soon enough, I'm going to be a true adult.  I'll be living with my husband, preparing to start my own little family.  I'm so excited to see the adventures to come.  Please, join us!

Balance in the Universe

I've been having a lot of really great days lately.  I'm oh-so-very grateful for them!  Life has just been great.  I've been working 40 hours a week, spending time with family, friends, and my amazing boyfriend, Bryce.  I don't have a whole lot of idle time.  Some days, I feel like I'm running around like a hen with her head cut off.  I love being this busy, but it has its drawbacks.  I'm not home much anymore.  That leaves me slacking in the chore department.  I guess when things are going so great, you have to have a terrible day to restore the balance in the universe.

Today started out great...
I woke up, got ready, picked up my check from work, came home, talked with Mom, played with Chunk, and headed to Tooele for dinner with my girls.

Then, things started turning...
I got a call from my boss on the way to Tooele saying that we'd had another not-so-good Corporate secret shopper. No bueno, my friends.
Dinner was great, but the host annoyed the crap out of me.
I was almost crushed by a semi driver on the way home getting on I-80 because he was a jackass, and he wasn't paying attention to the roadsigns.  He nearly killed me to cut across all three lanes of traffic and the gore to make his ramp.  I had to slam on my brakes leaving skid marks and squealing tires.  It was pretty scary.
I came home to my boyfriend waiting for me.  I was so excited to see him that I accidentally locked my keys in my car.  Dad wasn't so happy about that.  I talked to our on-site police officer, and he had to call the Unified Fire people.  They came to get my keys out of my car in an ambulance.  No, they were not inconspicuous at all.  As you can probably imagine, this attracted a large gathering of nosy neighbors wondering why there was an ambulance in the complex.  My boyfriend, being the amazing man that he is, sensed that I was frustrated and embarrassed.  His way of solving the problem was to lie under the front of my car acting like he was pinned there.  I love him.

Maybe the Universe still isn't balanced out completely...it tried today, but in the end, I still think I won.

Immaturity Injured the Idiot

I'm quite sure that you've all heard the phrase "Curiosity killed the cat," right?  Well, I believe that, in light of recent events, I'm going to start using my own phrase; Immaturity injured the idiot.  There's a certain idiot that I'm speaking about, of course, but I'm not going to use names.  I just find it hard to believe that a 20-year-old man can be such a child!  I'm not even sure how to deal with him anymore.  I feel like I've grown so much, and I'm making something of my life.  I really think that Court said it best when we were talking about another immature idiot.  She said, "Well, it's hard to get out of high school when you never did anything with your life."  It seems a bit harsh, but it's quite true.  Most adults move on.  They go to college, serve a mission, get a job, begin a career, get married, start a family, or do whatever they consider "moving on" to be.  Others choose to coast by, living with their parents for no legitimate reason, wallowing in rumor spreading, overreactions, jealousy, and concern for only themselves.  I feel sorry for these people.  It's so easy to see that they're not truly happy.  I guess that I'll just do my best to put up with this certain immature individual.  Hopefully things will change soon.  Until then, I'm going to have to refrain from asking him if he can put on his big-boy pants and grow up.  He's really only hurting himself with his attitude and actions.  Unfortunately, he can't see this yet.  I guess it's only a matter of time...

Home, Home on the Range

So, it's been a while! My bad... :)  I'm back home.  I graduated from Snow on May 1st, 2010.  That last week of school was quite eventful!  I'm just so very grateful that my friends and family made it to me safely.  Graduation ceremonies were a blast.  Saying goodbye to sweet dormbies was rather difficult, but we all survived.  Being home has been an adventure in and of itself.  Arctic Circle has become my home once again.  I feel like I literally live there now!  It's great, though.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  I'm well on my way to being a fully-certified 2nd Assistant Manager.  It's pretty exciting!  In the time since school has been out, I've been on a road trip to Vegas and seen a few of my dormbies.  I've put in some long days at work, and I'm learning more than I ever thought my brain could hold in such a short time.  I love my home.  I love my family and friends; old and new.  I love that I can turn to my best friends when I have things to confide or hoes to be cut.  Haha.  I love text messages that I get throughout the day.  They just seem to make things better.  The school year brought me many adventures.  I completed my Snow College Bucket List (see Facebook) and went on an epic 7 1/2 mile trek with Emma.  Great times were had in little ol' Ephraim.  The idea of what summer is going to bring is thrilling!  I absolutely cannot wait to adventure.  I'll leave you with some words from wise friends at Snow...

"It's not, 'Goodbye,' it's, 'See you later.'"

See you later!

For Sobbing Out Loud

Do you remember when you were little, and you cried so hard that you were left gasping for air between sobs and feeling the effects of a splitting headache in the aftermath?

Welcome to my life today.

I Love You, But...

Oh, Snow College, how I love you!  You have been so good to me!  I feel that I've been lucky to have never needed a tutor because this is what I would get:

A tutor "just around the CONNER"

to help me edit my "ENLISH" paper!

This concludes today's edition of "I Love You, But...."  Thank-you for tuning in.

Daily Dose of Iron-y

Let's ponder for a moment...

Wait! You mean, you're going to tell me how to think for myself? I love it.

Orange You Glad?

Let's take a moment to think about an advertisement.

Hmm...because orange is "just not my color?"

The Cave

Whilst walking back to my home from the Greenwood Student Center, I stumbled upon a visual reminder that my life could be much more unfriendly.  Whenever I'm having a bad day, I'm going to remember that at least I don't live in a snow cave...

...and I encourage you to do the same. Have a great day! :)

Grammar Police

One fateful day, I was reading my school's student-produced newspaper, and I stumbled upon the most heinously written article.  I find it astonishing that the Editor-In-Chief allowed something of such poor quality to be published in his paper.  I took it upon myself to do some editing.  Red pen in hand, I made all of the necessary corrections to make the article meet at least grammatical standards.  Its content was nothing short of a rant written by a frustrated boy, I'm sure.  I would just like to show you how much correction was required.

Dear Editor,
Please do your job.  I don't want to experience pain when I read the articles in your publication.
Sincerely,
The Grammar Police

Togas and Mario Party Memories

It has been said that the best things in life are free.  I would definitely agree with that statement.  Sometimes, the best things aren't free, but when you're a poor college student, free is the best thing in life!  I'm finding that there is no longer enough time in a day.  I have to extend my days by several hours to accomplish what I need to.  Sleep deprivation is no longer something that I fear.  It's a lifestyle.  It's incredible to me that my body can adapt to function on only three or four hours of sleep.  I know that it's not healthy, but I'm in college.  Isn't that how it goes?  Choose two: academic success, social life, adequate sleep...welcome to college.  I'm having the time of my life right now.  The hours flew by yesterday.  Job interview came and went.  Successful?  Let's hope!  Homework was procrastinated.  Test taken.  And then the fun began!  Snow College is becoming notorious for having some pretty big dance parties for Club Rush.  Last night, the event was a Toga Party complete with Studio 600 DJ, Marcus Wing.  Dancing our little hearts out didn't leave us exhausted enough, though.  After the toga party, Emma, Elisha, Carson, and I headed over to Joey's with the Nintendo 64 and Mario Party.  There was anger and hostility towards Wario and Bowser, extreme laughter, and a whole lot of sore hands from playing mini-games, but nobody can deny that it was fun.  Eventually, I had to leave to work on the homework that I had procrastinated.  I've decided that school would be much more amazing if we didn't have homework.  I don't mind going to class and learning, and I don't even mind having to take tests, but homework?  REALLY?!  I just think that we could do without it.  That is all.


Joey and Zack went all out for the Toga party.  I just thought that you'd like to see what a little acrylic silver paint and some imagination will do for these boys.  This is why they're my favorite:

Altered Ego

Have you ever felt like you're on top of the world?  Have you ever realized that you're not?  I was much dismayed when I underwent this horrific realization tonight.  There are more important things than what I have to say: card games, Mario Party, and bread.  To say the least, I was feeling pretty defeated when the bread was better than my precious words.  Oh, well...you live and you learn, and then you call BS.  I say, "Poo-poo," to convenient friends.  You know what those are, right?  They're the friends that love you to pieces and think you're the greatest thing on the planet...when they want something from you or when it's convenient for them.  If you don't know them yet, you're lucky, but beware because they're out there, and they will get you.  It's not a matter of if; it's a matter of when.  Now, if only there were a special kind of Band-Aid that could soothe my poor ego...